This is me catching the wagon to work. I'm the guy standing on the roof, doing a move known as the Teriyaki Hoist. Okay... this is July 17th's Gion Matsuri procession in Kyoto, reputed to be one of Japan's 3 "greatest" festivals. These huge things, called hoko, make a circuit through the city and either start, finish or both at Yasaka Jinja, the main Shinto shrine in Gion. This is the geisha district (or geiko in Kyoto dialect). Along the route houses open themselves to the public displaying treasures that have been handed down many generations, like painted screens. The floats themselves are extremely valuable (to give you an idea, I saw a local festival the other night and the much, much smaller and humbler float was worth 70 million yen ...around AU$825,000) - it was a shame we had to see Kyoto's hoko shrouded in plastic, due to rain. I actually only glimpsed all this fleetingly for about 30 minutes, in between trying to find friends after leaving my cell phone at home! It was pouring with rain, which made things miserable. I now wish I'd taken more in, but we quickly opted to head indoors.

Quick note:

I've been pretty quiet due to sickness, visiting friends and Halloween-lesson craziness. The preparation for this unknown-to-Australians event was out of control! Enough pumpkins already! ...I admit, in the end it was a lot of fun. But I will forever hear a child's voice saying "Candy prease!"

Blinkin' big, aren't they? I couldn't get a wide enough shot, but there's a wobbly mast thing that goes up off the roof to a very impressive height. You'll have to take my word for it. I think they must have planned downtown Kyoto's electrical wiring around this event.

As you can see, the rain was bucketing down. They had these cool little launch pad things on the side of the road for the carriages - I was just about expecting an astronaut to get on board. The detailing on these things is pretty awesome... and to think there are 32 of them... the mind boggles at what they must be worth.

I guess this guy is the pit crew?

Well, from Kyoto to...

Ooosaka! Looking along the river in Dotonbori in the south of the city. This wall is a constant flashing, moving assault on the senses.

To the lower left is the running figure of the famous Glico man. Glico is a brand of confectionery here. I'm told he's been running in this spot in different guises for a long time. I really like the energy of this little area - it's amazing by day and dazzling by night. Kind of grimey and a bit rough but go-go-go. Not at all my personality, but I'm allowed to like it, right? It seems like Osaka in a concentrate - exaggerated sights, sounds and characters.

Tucked away amongst the Hankyu Umeda station and shopping complex is a little temple. No they aren't swastikas. The German Nazis, for some reason, made a reversed version of this Buddhist mandala their symbol of all things nazi. So... why have I taken you from Kyoto to Osaka? Well, I referred to Gion Matsuri as being one of Japan's 3 "greatest" festivals... another is Osaka's Tenjin Matsuri. I managed to steal away after work and see some of it. It was a bit of a task finding my way to the right places at the right time. Basically I missed the mark, but it was still a spectacle. The mass of people was pretty crazy, especially when you already feel you are swimming through heavy, humid summer air. But the buzz of a summer festival is pretty nice.

I headed to a bridge, after asking someone which way the river was. I had no idea that I was surrounded by rivers, and that if I'd walked far enough I would've hit water the other way, too. That explains why the crowd seemed to be swirling in all directions (and I thought half the people were going home). Anyway, where I perched myself was a good vantage point for some barges full of merry-makers. I had intended it as a spot to see massive fireworks, but sadly I picked the wrong river. I had to be content listening to them and seeing the occasional plume of colour shoot up from behind a building, or reflect on another. I didn't feel so stupid when I saw I was in good Japanese company - others who had got it wrong. (Anyway, you'll see in a later spam that I eventually got my fireworks hit in a place called Kakogawa!)

I'm not sure what the idea is with the barges, but I believe these people spent the hours earlier in the day making their way through the streets.

For some reason this little boat reminded me of painted images I've seen of the ferry that crosses the River Styx of Greek mythology - taking mortals across to Hades. As my friend Sue would say, random!

I couldn't see Rick Moranis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, or ...the other guys... but the Staypuft Marshmallow Man turned up to destroy the world again! But he didn't stay puffed - he was kind of skinny. I guess he's been eating Japanese portions, as opposed to American portions.

This was the sight that I met when I surfaced from the train station. No matter which way you turned there was a crowd.

There is a great vibe in the city in a festival like this. In stark comparison to Kyoto's rehearsed elegance, Osaka just lets it all hang out - there is a strict observance of things (check out this amazing link if you're really interested: http://www.osaka-info.jp/tenjin_matsuri/main_en.html ...one of the best websites I've ever seen), but it's more of a party vibe. People don their yukata (light summer kimono) and walk around the closed-off streets. It was weird because the closest thing I've experienced to it is walking through Sydney streets in the wee hours of New Year's morning, only in that case 99.9% of your company are staggering through an alcohol haze!

A few blocks from the water I found a street where participants were steadily dancing their way somewhere, making a lot of happy noise to the accompaniment of booming drums and pipes.

I managed to find my way to Tenmangu Shrine where the activity was being sucked towards, like water in a bathtub after you pull the plug. The day's events were drawing to a close. There was one last strange procession of sacred things to be brought into the shrine... things like trees, unidentified shriney objects, umbrella looking things, tapestry type things, banners and flags... and a whole lot of people.

There was even a cow!

The crowd was often more of interest than the procession. Yes, I'm a creep (that's sukebe if you're a local)... I'm a sucker for a yukata and a fan.

Pretty good seats - looking right towards the approach to the shrine.

Well, there seemed to be something going on just inside the gate of the shrine and an air of anticipation - well, we were all waiting for something, weren't we? But alas, I had to make for the trains, as it takes a while for me to get to and from Osaka and the last trains aren't that late here. So I followed the blue line of coppers and headed for home.

Now it's tempting to say that this last section is the last of the 3 great festivals of Japan, but I don't think you're that stupid. You're looking at my church's mission week, with friends from Hawaii (Hope Chapel Kaneohe Bay) running all sorts of great events. Hawaiians are rated the friendliest in the world among foreigners by Japanese people! Funny considering Pearl Harbor and all... there are a lot of people of Japanese origin in Hawaii and it's interesting meeting them in Japan. My friend Bruce has lived back here for 10 years now, but is so different to a Japanese man. Yes, it is possible to meet a super-chilled Japanese person! Well, I guess he's more American than Japanese... but yeah, interesting.

I joined the face-painting crew. This lady is one of my victims. Hibiscus were the order of the day.

Here the beautiful Chanelle from Hope Chapel is putting a flower on my friend Eriko. It was a fun day! Heaps of people came and were really touched by the efforts of our Hawaiian friends and people from my church, Crossroad. God's love was tangible to me. I wrote that before, but I can't think of how else to say it. It was a fantastic week.

Finally, I have changed Japanese teachers. My previous mentor, Mukojima-sensei, has gone into shock treatment and rehabilitation therapy after my months of mental abuse. The neglect of homework, the thick-as-a-plank, responsive-as-a-brick utterances of her former student were all too much after her. Nah, she's become a general organiser of the school, Nihongo Salon. So, Uemura-sensei has stepped up to the plate and is taking me on. She's a great teacher and is really patient with me. I think I've made some progress, but yeah, I'm still pretty bad!

We meet in the top floor Community Centre of Sanda's Kippy Mall, which I must note has the best public toilets I have ever ever experienced. They are a joy. So much so, that I made a recording of the sweet bird noises and soothing music that they pipe in to cover any gurgles, farts or excessive splashes. I am having a lot of fun using my new digital recorder - it can sample at twice the rate of CD, so the quality is excellent. Anyway... when I come home you can hear all about the Kippy Mall crapper.

"When I come home"... that reminds me... I am now due home at the beginning of April 07. I've handed in my notice, so it's all sealed. Anyway... see you then. In the meantime, I'll be sending you monster bogs/blogs like this one. Try and hide this splash with a bird!

What was that I said before about massive insects!? This is the adorable Asuka, my neighbour and friend and her pet kabutomushi, or giant bug. She lives above the sushi shop that her family runs behind my place. We're in the kitchen - you can see mum in a blur behind her, taking some dishes into the restaurant. Asuka works too! She pours beer and chuhai like a pro and delivers it too, holding out a heavy bottomed schooner with one hand. Pretty good for a girl who turns 7 next week!

Children here love beetles. Summer brings out all sorts of creatures. It's now the beginning of Autumn, but some summer arrivals still linger - yesterday morning I was greeted by a large praying mantis sitting on my bike. It really disturbed me... I'm pretty sure the night before I'd had a nightmare involving giant insects! You can pick the season by looking at the front rack displays in 100 yen shops and some conbinis (convenience stores)... in summer there are fireworks, butterfly nets and cases for keeping your new insectoid friends. But Asuka's were actually bought from the pet shop. The one she went to only sells beetles! She has an amazing book which shows all the large beetles from around the world in actual size.

I see Sayaka and Asuka most Mondays. We study English and then they feed me dinner. 2 nights ago I watched their grandfather make it. He's amazingly fast! He made makizushi (the roll-type sushi, wrapped in seeweed) and nigirizushi (the type pressed together in your hand). He's also very deft with his huge sashimi knife - it's like a small sword! I looked along it and its edge is so keen I couldn't see it. They also gave me a soup which is made from the residue left from the sake-making process. It tastes vaguely of sake and is quite rich - a good winter soup.

Here's mum and grandpa too. That's the only way I know to refer to them! Well I guess I could call them Urakado-san, but I never have.

And here's dad - the much referred-to but hitherto never-seen Kazuya! These photos are looong overdue... this family is really important to me. This picture was taken just before I visited Australia, so I was in the same gaunt state! I hope you'll believe me when I say I've put some weight back on... I'm still a praying mantis, but a slightly fatter one. These guys are doing their best to fatten me up.

Kazuya is hilarious. But he's also far more than that. I've learned a lot from him, but he says he's a fool. He works seven days a week. He says he has a "chicken heart" but I've seen him go next door and break up a fight between some young guys who were drunk and then sit and talk with them. He takes brilliant photos of scenery (some in remote locations in Japan), but he says they aren't very good. He says the food they give me is "low-grade" but I always love what they serve me. He's a legend.

Also long overdue are these photos of the friends I made sitting in Kazuya's restaurant early on. They often eat here, so we've seen each other numerous times. From left to right from Kazuya are Yuko, Hiroshi, Yoko and Norihiro. Hiroshi is the one who drinks water through his nose. They all are in the dental trade... well, they don't sell teeth, they fix them.

This night we went to Yoko and Norihiro's for dinner. I haven't seen them for a while now. Yoko is expecting, so life has gotten busier for them! Yuko and Hiroshi once went in Japan's Cannonball Run... and won! They drove a Subaru WRX STi. Hiroshi loves cars... currently he has a Chevy Astro van and a Mitsubishi 4WD that looks just like an old Jeep Renegade.

Well, lastly 2 shots for the brag book. Me and the harem of pretty girls - the usual story, huh? If I was smart I wouldn't say anything about this and let some story or legend grow in your mind about my animal magnetism... haha. Another karaoke night - there were others present, but just thought this was a good promo shot. The lady on the far right is my manager.

This is about as much love as I'm really getting... a fake kiss from a monkey. Well, not even that... I'm kissing it. There's my animal magnetism: I'm attracted to monkeys. Sniff...